31 August 2009

Next Stop, The Beginning


As expected, my hope to make at least one entry per week in this blog has been dashed. I was back in A-town last week on my annual pilgrimage to see those responsible for yours truly (yes still, the blame can't end after 35 years so easily) and to see the old stomping ground. Therefore blogging was put on the backburner for want of a better excuse of which I have none.

Whenever I go back home I make an extra special effort to see some of the old haunts that hold special significance in my life. I usually time this by arranging to meet an old friend somewhere and turn up especially early in order to have a nose about before the appointment. It is usually the city, as this is where most of the significant events occurred.

A-town has the dubious distinction of being rather bereft of development. The advantage of this is that it acts as a time capsule that can be unlocked on subsequent visits. I spent an enjoyable hour wandering down the east end of the city peering into bars where I had my first proper drink, first proper night out, first proper chat to girls, and first proper all sorts of things. As can be deduced in my early years everything was done with proper decorum as befits a gentleman albeit a young, naive, inexperienced one.

Some people get nostalgic about these sorts of experiences, and bemoan the passing of the years since they feel life would be better if they could go back to those carefree days. I don't. I'm glad they happened and I enjoyed them enormously, but the past is for our memories, the present is for our attentions, and the future is for our imaginations.

I kind of like being back here now.

15 August 2009

The AFL Grass is NOT Greener


It seems the Australian Football League needs to be applauded for this weekends "Green Round" whereby the issues of climate change are being neatly linked with a few games of kickabout.

The kudo's I bestow upon them are for their efforts to display the true issues surrounding the climate change topic and environmentalism generally, a selection of some as follows:

1 - How to make a totally bazarre connection between two completely unrelated enterprises.
2 - How to exploit a fashionable cause for little effort.
3 - How to be a complete bunch of hypocritical bastards, yet give the impression of promoting an ethical cause.
4 - Promote a "message" but not participate in any "solutions".

Time for a gripe in the numerical order of the above:

1. What on earth has footy got to do with environmental issues? This is totally ridiculous. What fucking arrogance do these people have taking it upon themselves to bleat the green message to us? When their players misbehave they don't give a toss, so why do they suddenly have a concern over the health of the planet? Fix your own problems first, then worry about the rest of the world.

2. What a completely bullshit effort anyway. Putting a splash of green on your website, and getting Toyota to advertise Prius' cars (which in my opinion is the masturbatory icon of the green movement) at the games doesn't exactly say much. The lazy turds thought this was an easy way to get on the green bandwagon.

3. What appalling hypocrisy they are demonstrating. On their website they have some "hints" for us to live greener. I mean, who the fuck hasn't heard it all by now? We're not that fucking stupid (even most of the Collingwood supporters), we are aware and have been for a long time. Why are they telling us to turn our lights off when they have enourmously powerful floodlights burning away at the night games? Why are they telling us to carpool when their players are jetting all over the country in fuel guzzling aircraft? Do fuck off.

4. Its' always easy to promote a message. Actively participating in the solutions, well thats a bit more difficult and something the AFL has conveniently ignored.

This is just a typically easy way for people and organisations to exploit this fashionable issue. It costs practically nothing, it accomplishes even less, but don't we all get a nice warm fuzzy feeling from it. Just like the ETS the government is busy screwing up at the moment, I am well and truly over this shit.

04 August 2009

A Beautifully Dark Inheritance


When we think about the ingredients that make up our personalities, it is usually discovered that there are certain people that have had a large part in forming our character. Parents are certainly prominent here, as expected, but strangely for myself I keep coming to the conclusion that someone else had an even more pronounced influence. When I mention it was my Grandpa it seems even more odd because this was a man that I didn't spend a considerable amount of time with and perhaps was not even very close to.

When I was a kid, there's no doubt that I was rather unsure about Grandpa. He never really had the typical grandparent ways about him and I really only remember sitting in his kitchen while he drank sherry or beer and smoked hand rolled cigarettes with no filters. He never got excited when you visited, and never really made a fuss over you like grandparents usually do with the grandkiddies. He was well known to frequent the local pubs and it wasn't unusual for him to arrive home in some pretty sozzled states after work. Rarely did he issue compliments to anyone.

Now, it may seem I'm painting a picture of a rather dissappointing man, but it was only when I got a bit older that I started to appreciate what he had to offer. You see, I have a sense of humour that baffled my parents. It's dark, cynical, and sarcastic and they never really got it. But Grandpa did, because he had the very same. He was very working class, preferred the company of misfits and rascals and understood the bullshit of the world and made fun of it. As can be expected, my development of the dark skills as I got older made me an increasingly more interesting person in his eyes. As a result he found it suitable to issue more details of his life, predominantly around his drinking exploits which were incredibly funny, rebellious and exciting.

When he passed away several years ago, I can say without shame that I wasn't sad. His health was badly deteriorating and he gave the impression of a man who had enjoyed himself (mostly) but was ready to call time. I was certainly pleased to have known him, and am kind of glad that there was at least one other member of the family that was as odd as myself.

I still can't quite figure how the traits jumped a generation though.