25 May 2009

Me, Me, Me


I've written about a few things so far in this blog. Mostly things that are happening around me that spark my interest. But, I certainly have been a bit slack when it has come to discussing me. So without further ado...

Life, frankly, is pretty peachy for Dan the VespaMan. Employed in an industry he enjoys, albeit one that doesn't always stir his interest as vividly as he would hope (yep I do get a bit bored and frustrated at times) he picks up a comfortably proportioned pay check each fortnight that allows him to keep a decent roof over his head, grub in his tummy, and the odd toy to keep him amused.

Socially, not an animal at all. He enjoys his privacy, a bit of a homebody and loves to venture out solo on his "excursions" into the hurly burly of Sydney. Since his move to Sydney near enough on 7 years ago, he has experienced only one bout of homesickness and frankly doesn't really understand what loneliness is.

Ah but the question continually arises, a constant curiosity in the minds of those who seem to have f*ck all else to do with their days, what of love in the world of the VespaMan. Sadly, the answer is dissappointing and the life of the bachelor is his. "Why", rings the chorus, "What are you doing about it??". The issue of love has always been a tricky beast in his world. He certainly finds the ladies of the world intriguing, and there is no doubt that he would adore the right woman, but who on earth is the right woman? He recently was told to stop being so picky, to give up hope of the RIGHT woman. He has heard many people told this "advice" and is disgusted that it would be considered valid. Why shouldn't people wait until they find the right person. Isn't singledom preferable to a loveless relationship?

Well thats enough of this third person nonsense, I may write a little more about this before long. It's strange how difficult it is writing about myself. Maybe I need to practice more.

Todays shout out goes to me. You ol' royster doyster you.

Todays shout down goes to people who say you HAVE to get married. Listen you bunch of knobheads, all in good time allright, when the time is right it will be done, not before.

"Life Adds Up", by Dan the VespaMan.

One, Two, Three,
This was all about me.
Four, Five, Six,
My blog needs pics.

Seven, Eight, Nine,
I'm doing fine.
Ten, Eleven, Twelve,
Into my life I delve.

18 May 2009

Lord of the Manor


I am an apartment dweller. It is in an apartment that I do my dwelling.

Where people live has always been viewed as very important for good reason. Our homes are our sanctuaries, our places where we keep the things that are important to us, our territories where we are the lord and master. There were several things going through my mind when I decided to live in an apartment rather than a house (yep, the $$$ were a factor) and I must say that the longer I have been an apartmentaphile the more I have appreciated the benefits that this type of abode has over a house.

Honestly, why does anyone NEED to live in a house? Mowing grass, fixing leaking roofs, painting gutters. No thanks. Oh yes, there will be those that say apartments have no sense of community, but what's so community minded about fencing off your property and getting narkey when someone you don't know dares set foot inside the boundary. I love the fact that the people I share my building with keep to themselves. It's great to have a brief chat while in the elevator or at the mailboxes, but otherwise I would rather they didn't try to make themselves an integral part of my life. It's nice to have a choice who you want to spend your time with rather than some pain in the arse who keeps looking through their curtains to see who may be visiting your home.

Security is ofcourse an important factor in anyone's home, and apartments are usually better here as well. My building has security swipes, camera's, and being up on the third floor you would need to be spiderman to gain entrance in any non-conventional way. It is a nice feeling that I can leave my home in the morning and be confident that it will be intact on my return. Many houses here in Sydney seem to have rather vulgar bars across their windows and doors, uhm which is a pretty similar setup to a prison maybe?

Did I mention the environmental benefits of being an apartment dweller. No, I didn't because I'm not completely full of shit, but suffice it to say I may be greener than some.

Todays shout out goes to my fellow apartment dwellers. I'll see you in the lift.

Todays shout down goes to the "Australian Dream". It's a con.

"Heart Headquarters", by Dan the VespaMan.

I keep thinking
My home is a wonderful place,
It is neat and tidy
It keeps a smile on my face.

I don't need a house
A grotesque palace,
Because I've got what I need
This home is my chalice.

11 May 2009

Spending in 2011 Makes Cents


Oh dear, this darned economic crises is starting to make our desire to create a happy world just a little more difficult, isn't it.

For an example, much discussion has been circulating for a while now with regards to paid maternity leave and the necessity for such a program. Here we are on budget eve awaiting the government to reveal all, yet snippets of information are already doing the rounds. According to the Daily Telegraph (so yes it may be total crap) a paid maternity leave scheme will be put in place, but not until 2011 which may be rather disheartening for those wishing to "have one for the country" before then.

I don't think there is much doubt that the government not doing anything radical this year or next year is a result of the economic situation. And I wonder just what this shows about us. After all, the decisions a people's government takes are usually reflective of the concerns of the people.

We seem to always have great philanthropic idea's to better the world, to give people better lives, to clean up the planet. We always carry on about how important it is with our "WE MUST ACT NOW!" determination. But as soon as things start getting tough, and real sacrifice may be required, we suddenly become a tad more selfish. I have always thought that no-one is going to give a toss about issues such as the environment if they haven't got a job which helps provide them with a reasonably decent quality of life for them and their family. Am I wrong in saying that philanthropy is a luxury that only the wealthy can afford to indulge in?

Roll on 2011.

Todays shout out goes to Bill Gates, the most philanthropic philanthropist that ever philanthropied (eeck is that even a word).

Todays shout down goes to people who use mobile phones while driving. How bloody stupid can a person be?

"He Means Well", by Dan the VespaMan.

I want to be a good man
and never harm a soul,
In fact to help the world
is a desire that is my goal.

But a man has got to eat
and have somewhere to lay his head,
Without these things
One feels a powerful dread.

04 May 2009

Comedy in the C Key


The other day I watched a documentary about the comedic musician Tim Minchin. I had only seen snippets of Minchin's work and a few interviews in the past and hadn't to that point actually delved into his works. It was a pleasant and also rather sad experience.

There's no doubt that Tim Minchin has a magnificent grasp of what is required to make an audience laugh. His music is pleasant to the ear, well written and performed beautifully on piano. This provides a wonderful foundation to deliver the lyrical delights that would tickle the funnybone of most, if not all, people who are in possession of anything approaching a sense of humour. Yes, he dabbles in the crass subjects like most comedians of today, but he ensures that the material is always witty, clever, and slightly unpredictable. He is an immensely likeable performer on stage, with a haircut that wouldn't be out of place at a goth convention, black eyeliner to help the audience see his wonderfully timed facial expressions (clever!) and a slight confusion of his characters place in the world.

As I mentioned, this was all revealed in a documentary recently broadcast on the the ABC, and so Minchin's private life was also laid bare for us to see. And this is where things got rather emotional. During his time establishing himself as a performer, he and his wife experienced the heartbreak of a lost pregnancy. Surprisingly, the camera's still rolled on Minchin as he dealt with his grief from the UK where he was performing while his wife was in Australia. I do wonder just how he managed to get back on stage and create laughter and jollyness during a time of incredible sadness. Delightfully, the documentary ends with the couple eventually having the joy of a successful pregnancy. Very. Beautiful.

There is certainly more to the man than meets the eye and ear.

Todays shout out ofcourse goes to Tim Minchin. He makes you wish you had learnt how to play the piano.

Todays shout down goes to swine flu. Pigs arse to that I say.

"Piano Nerd", by Dan the VespaMan.

He twinkles the ivories
and sings his songs,
It's another packed crowd
amused by Tim's wrongs.

It's the hardest job
making people laugh,
But the rock 'n' roll nerd can do it
Not half !