The Friday Nights Green Tights

Alexander the younger, son of the King of Diampora was considered a strange boy. He was fond of riding his stallion, Popsicle, while wearing a large embroidered hat, a scarlet tunic, and bright green tights. The people considered him a dandy and laughed heartily at his unusual dress and demeanour. To any other royal of the time it would be shameful to receive such disrespect from their people, but Alexander revelled in the attention and felt if he was providing such good entertainment then what's the harm.

Whilst riding though the woods not hunting guinea fowl, Alexander heard a gentle sobbing wafting through the dense tree's. Curious, he decided to seek out the source of the sad sound but soon came across a problem. You see, the kingdom of Diampora bordered that of Aropmaid and a bitter fued between the two had existed for many years. The reasons for the divide were lost to legend, however the stories told over roaring Diampora hearths were that a representative of the King of Aropmaid had failed to remove the bunch of grapes that all men wore in their hair during diplomatic meetings when the, "Remove your bunch of grapes, NOW!" song was sung to end the meeting. Oh yes, it was a slap in the face and forgiveness was impossible.

Where was I? Oh yes, Alexander was a rather naive person and so continued to venture across the border as the sound of the weeping grew louder. Eventually, he discovered the tree's thinning out and found himself staring at a huge castle, like with turrets and stuff. A rather tall tower was at one corner of the castle, and standing at a high window was the most beautiful lady Alexander had ever seen. She had long black hair that glistened like pitch and a nose the same shape as a turnip. Peculiar emotions stirred in Alexander and for the first time in his life he regretted wearing bright green tights as much as your author has regretted writing himself into a difficult corner with a high risk of being accused of plagiarism or perversion.

"Erm, hello there, are you allright?", called out Alexander waving a purple satin hanky in the air.
"WTF!", exclaimed the beautiful lady seeing our bizarrely dressed hero, with particular concern for his tights.
"I heard you crying and thought you may be in distress. Are you?"
"Well", she said, "I've been shut in this tower by my parents who have some sort of irrational fear over my chastity. Frankly, I've had better days don't you know".
"I shall save you, dear lady, fear not!"

With this, Alexander began attempting to climb the side of the tower, which was a bloody stupid thing to do as the tower was 50 feet high and if he had walked around the side he would have found the unlocked entrance. Eventually, he found the entrance, climbed the stairs, rescued the lady, they got married, united the kingdoms, and had many children.

The End.

Post note: Some may consider the ending of this story to be rather hurried and lacking in detail, at least compared with the earlier passages. If so, I agree with you entirely but when the authors toast has just popped up his train of thought tends to wander.