Bar-Rooms and Beauties for the Bard

The scene is a trendy city nightspot. Our hero walks in and proceeds to the bar.

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Dan: Druid of Deity, my soul and sensibilities require diversion. Ice cold attitude of Tastic temperance would satiate the burden. May your powers and will be of sufficient strength to conclude my pondering?
(Bartender, I'll have a Cascade Lager please.)

Bartender: Forbearance is the watchword sir, as we face temptations to champion concoctions representational of the feeble ilk. The potions from afar are poorly indicative of our passions, but hark, the recepticle is nigh, and your illusions of utopia are to become positively judged.
(I think we've got one out the back.... yes we have.)

A pretty lady walks over to the bar, catching our hero's attention. He speaks to her.....

Dan: A breeze, of lavender and rose petal sensibilities could be considered crass in this moment. Thine ownership of the beguiling tendancies over the weak has struck and hath captured another. With begging, for I cannot breath another breath until my curiosity has been plunged into the sea of knowledge. Does thou regard the locative instrument of our shared time and space as of some commonality?
(Hello Beautiful, do you come here often?)

Lady: Rather odd fruit to proclaim, and of limited strength in artistic terms.
(Is that the best chat up line you've got?)

Dan: Forgiveness, but my tutor was in combination with absence and ignorance when the lessons of life were in bestowement. Perchance a door to knowledge would wonders do, if ye care to turn the latch?
(Sorry, I'm not very good at this, where did I go wrong?)

Lady: The mind and matters pertaining to it light the pathway to the prize. The unsuccessful neander of brutish concept are inept of this. A connection, thee soulfully impoverished tick, with a desiress is a celebration, smiled upon by the gods and blessed for eternity. Mercilessly, ye must suppress urges to take vile actions and exhibit animalistic insensitivities. In the heart of the heartess beats a song with rhythm, and duets need collaborative energies, such as sails need the wind. Abrupt and dunced speech doth indicate turbulence ahead. Are ye of a thinking sort? Can thee accept Gods script of truth and light the candle of courtship?
(???? *Male attention span exceeded*)

Dan: Ha ha. My abode is sparse and lightning bolts of mind matter gave rise to speculation. Humorous affiliations with jungle sorts were at the forefront of ponderings and.......
(So, I was thinking of getting a pet monkey...)

Lady: Desist. Compadre's have broadcast my moniker and the gravity of their enquiries is lunar. A parting of the ways is nigh.
(Someone's calling me. I have to go now.)

End.