I think that personal vices get a lot of unjust bad press these days. Whether you like sculling a brew, lighting up a durry, scoffing a burger with the lot (beetroot yes, yes, YES!) or tripping out on something a little more obscure, I say to blazes with the nanny-no no's and giddy up on the good times.
The true meaning of life is an elusive query, one which has never been adequately cleared up. But there is one thing that I believe is a NECESSITY to lead a rich and complete life.... pleasure! Oh yes, the enjoyment of the tipple of your choice creating that wonderful warm sensation in your belly, the cigarette smoke that tastes smooth and refined immediately after a meal, the reckless devil may care of "junk" food that reminds us every time of just how good salt, sugar and fat tastes. The illicit substances that amazingly remove the boredom's, confusions, and concerns that plague the human condition albeit temporarily. This is living by choice, true independance of the individual to make their own decisions contrary to the myriad of doomsayers who mistakenly believe they have a right to convince us that these vices are hollow, destructive, and without meaning.
Why are these do-gooding, annoying people appearing on my television screen and in my newspapers? Why should they care what I do with my body and mind? If they believe these substances are so vile, then as long as they don't consume them they are doing their duty to themselves. I commend the efforts of organisations and people who make verifiable information concerning these substances freely available, but detest those that feel they must save everyone from themselves.
Myself, I don't smoke because on the three occasions I've been offered a ciggie I didn't enjoy it. Actually, I love the smell of unsmoked cigerettes (not sure if that is unusual or not). I drink very moderately, but will have a binge YES BINGE FOR THE STATS on occasion and enjoy it. The harder stuff is also a no for the same reason as the smokes. This leaves me only with unhealthy food, and there goes the neighbourhood. I love tasty food, and couldn't imagine life without it. Do you ever notice how good roasts are when it is cold and raining outside? Why are roasted potatoes so good? How on earth does eating a steak when cooked to a perfect medium (red inside but no running blood) become almost like a religious experience with each mouthful. How can stuffing one's face with slices of heaven be anything other than good for the soul?
Be gone, the preachers of the anti-enjoyment movement. Take your messages of dread, roll them up into a massive doobie and bong on, grab a bite, and have a brew. Cheers!
Todays shout out goes to "binge" drinkers. If you want to do it, do it and enjoy. Hey it's your liver.
Todays shout down goes to the alcopops tax. Gee it made all the difference, didn't it ? No better example of a government policy of "being seen to be doing something" rather than actually "doing something" currently exists.
"A Side Order of Pleasure", by Dan the VespaMan.
On the road to self destruction
We are told we must alter course,
A bland diet, no smokes, no booze
And no bloody fun ofcourse.
Yes the stuff will probably kill me
Cholesterol in the arteries has no place,
But make my serve a large one
To the end with a smile on my face.
27 April 2009
20 April 2009
It's a Bust for the B-List
I'm always intrigued by the extents people will go for their career, and even more intrigued by what people will do to resurrect their seemingly extinguished career. Recently, I was relieved to hear that one of the princesses of children's entertainment, Kellie Crawford, had decided that the show must go on after her career with the group "Hi5" and had shed her kit for a raunchy photo-shoot with lads mag "Ralph". Yes, dear reader, I dialled up the pictures on the internet to see what the fuss was all about. (no really, research and reference only)
Some of Kellie's comments for the "article" that accompanies the photo's were rather interesting:
"I felt people weren’t seeing me as a woman" - Phew, that fixes that problem.
"But this is actually a personal thing. It’s really for myself." - and we all make sure when we do something personal that the pictures and details are widely distributed through the newsstands, don't we dear reader?
"...I just forgot I was a woman..." - Breasts and a vagina not enough of a hint eh? Maybe they're easily overlooked as I don't have said bodyparts.
Being of the male species, I can't say that the pictures were unattractive. Like most blokes, the primitive cave man in me still stirs when I come across pictures of a scantily clad, sexy female who has a look on her face that suggests she wishes to conduct horizontal folk dancing lessons. But, before the blood drains completely from my brain, I read the article (or what was available on the website) and the illusion was shattered.
A picture may say a thousand words, but the written article's of these photo-shoots always seem to say something else entirely.
Today's shout out ofcourse goes to Kellie Crawford. It's a brave move to jump back into the circus of B-list celebrity but if you keep at it I'm sure you could be hawking skincare products on breakfast television before long. Or doing one of those bloody awful home renovation shows.
Today's shout down goes to the "Family Groups" criticizing Kellie's actions. You really don't understand how all this works do you? The best thing you can do to attract attention to the photo's is publicly condemn Kellie. By doing this you create a curiosity around the issue and MORE people will check it out. You are providing "Ralph" magazine with free publicity for something you oppose. That is negligence on your part. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
"Come hither, Mr. Cameraman", by Dan the VespaMan.
With every flash of the bulb
The illusion is born,
With every silly comment
Another man gets the horn.
It sells magazines
and saves her career,
Because the greatest fear she has
Is that she will disappear.
Some of Kellie's comments for the "article" that accompanies the photo's were rather interesting:
"I felt people weren’t seeing me as a woman" - Phew, that fixes that problem.
"But this is actually a personal thing. It’s really for myself." - and we all make sure when we do something personal that the pictures and details are widely distributed through the newsstands, don't we dear reader?
"...I just forgot I was a woman..." - Breasts and a vagina not enough of a hint eh? Maybe they're easily overlooked as I don't have said bodyparts.
Being of the male species, I can't say that the pictures were unattractive. Like most blokes, the primitive cave man in me still stirs when I come across pictures of a scantily clad, sexy female who has a look on her face that suggests she wishes to conduct horizontal folk dancing lessons. But, before the blood drains completely from my brain, I read the article (or what was available on the website) and the illusion was shattered.
A picture may say a thousand words, but the written article's of these photo-shoots always seem to say something else entirely.
Today's shout out ofcourse goes to Kellie Crawford. It's a brave move to jump back into the circus of B-list celebrity but if you keep at it I'm sure you could be hawking skincare products on breakfast television before long. Or doing one of those bloody awful home renovation shows.
Today's shout down goes to the "Family Groups" criticizing Kellie's actions. You really don't understand how all this works do you? The best thing you can do to attract attention to the photo's is publicly condemn Kellie. By doing this you create a curiosity around the issue and MORE people will check it out. You are providing "Ralph" magazine with free publicity for something you oppose. That is negligence on your part. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
"Come hither, Mr. Cameraman", by Dan the VespaMan.
With every flash of the bulb
The illusion is born,
With every silly comment
Another man gets the horn.
It sells magazines
and saves her career,
Because the greatest fear she has
Is that she will disappear.
13 April 2009
The Temples of Memories
About two years ago I attended a lecture by the well known author of books and television programs Alain de Botton. The lecture dealt basically with the question of architecture's role in our lives, fundamentally the question of which is more important "form" or "function".
Attached is a picture of a small building on the corner of George and Hunter Street here in Sydney. A plaque on the wall explains that it is one of Sydney's oldest buildings and was originally a hotel. There are beautiful examples throughout Sydney of the cities early years still standing, with many (perhaps most!) in outstanding condition. Fine examples are the Queen Victoria Building, The Strand, and Government House. However, I chose the modest building on George Street for it's simplicity, small size and subtlety.
I've always been a practical person, perhaps in some ways a minimalist and you will find in my apartment all objects have a purpose and function. Aesthetic form has never been a priority as I have usually considered it wasteful and difficult to maintain. But the unusual thing is I adore these old and beautiful buildings. They are impractical, costly to maintain, occasionally out of place in a modern city, and take up space where we could build something much more useful. The thing is though, as Sydney evolves into goodness knows what in the future, these structures represent beacons of history, anchor points from which the stories of our development and the people involved are tethered making it easier for us today to understand our past. They are not just brick and mortar, they store the attitude of their days and keep reminding me that "the more things change, the more they stay the same".
Many questions about our future, were answered in our past.
Todays shout out goes to the visionaries that fight for the conservation of historic buildings. They are not only visionaries, they are also futurists as they can see how important these buildings will be.
Todays shout down goes to attempts to demolish such buildings - "Historical Vandalism".
"Time Capsules, Aboveground", by Dan the VespaMan.
Built by hand
Restored with grace,
Our historic resources
Bring a smile to my face.
We strive for progress
Which is a relentless tide,
Lets give our memories
A place to reside.
06 April 2009
Stop Holding Your Folding
Well, there's no doubt that we are all finding it a little more nerve wracking these days when it comes to paying the bills. I like most others cringe a little when I find that little envelope from the electricity/water/gas people in my letterbox. They are rarely sending me fond wishes sadly. But is it really something we should worry about?
Just recently, I received my quarterly strata levy notice. Being an apartment dweller, this is the contribution I make along with the other apartment owners in my building. Gasping for breath I read the invitation to deposit $752.20 into the strata account and had the usual post notice distress of the thought that I shall soon be minus dollars 752 plus some change. But consider these points and suddenly I realise that I need to be smacked in the back of the head, because my payment does this:
- Pays for the insurance on the building (in case some dumb shit burns it down)
- Pays for the electricity to light the common area's
- Pays for the upkeep of the pool
- Pays for maintenance of the building and the fairly extensive garden/shrubbery area
- Pays for the cleaning of the building hallways and lifts
- Pays for the upkeep of the security system
- Pays for 2 staff who take care of all the above and a mountain of paperwork
- Pays for things I don't even know about.
- Pays for me to not have to worry about any of the above.
I may not hand over the cash with gleeful enthusiasm, but sometimes we don't see just how good the value is of the things we have to pay for. Taxation is the other thing people squirm about when it is time to fork over the readies. Oh yes, I'm sure too much of it gets wasted on nonsense but a huge portion of it gets pumped into essential services such as police forces, education, infrastructure and other things we demand in our lives.
So my advice is this, pay your bills and enjoy the quality of life that results. Alternatively, have a whinge and don't pay your bills to discover just how difficult life can become.
Today's shout out goes to decent quality goods and service providers. Even when they are expensive, they are good value.
Today's shout down goes to penny pinchers. What a miserable way to live.
"Money can make you happy", by Dan the VespaMan.
I'm not a wealthy man
I don't have tastes of high class,
But I know a good deal when I see it
Which means I don't waste the brass.
It's true that life is pricey
Well, a good one is for sure,
But if that is what is needed
Then why not pay a little more?
Just recently, I received my quarterly strata levy notice. Being an apartment dweller, this is the contribution I make along with the other apartment owners in my building. Gasping for breath I read the invitation to deposit $752.20 into the strata account and had the usual post notice distress of the thought that I shall soon be minus dollars 752 plus some change. But consider these points and suddenly I realise that I need to be smacked in the back of the head, because my payment does this:
- Pays for the insurance on the building (in case some dumb shit burns it down)
- Pays for the electricity to light the common area's
- Pays for the upkeep of the pool
- Pays for maintenance of the building and the fairly extensive garden/shrubbery area
- Pays for the cleaning of the building hallways and lifts
- Pays for the upkeep of the security system
- Pays for 2 staff who take care of all the above and a mountain of paperwork
- Pays for things I don't even know about.
- Pays for me to not have to worry about any of the above.
I may not hand over the cash with gleeful enthusiasm, but sometimes we don't see just how good the value is of the things we have to pay for. Taxation is the other thing people squirm about when it is time to fork over the readies. Oh yes, I'm sure too much of it gets wasted on nonsense but a huge portion of it gets pumped into essential services such as police forces, education, infrastructure and other things we demand in our lives.
So my advice is this, pay your bills and enjoy the quality of life that results. Alternatively, have a whinge and don't pay your bills to discover just how difficult life can become.
Today's shout out goes to decent quality goods and service providers. Even when they are expensive, they are good value.
Today's shout down goes to penny pinchers. What a miserable way to live.
"Money can make you happy", by Dan the VespaMan.
I'm not a wealthy man
I don't have tastes of high class,
But I know a good deal when I see it
Which means I don't waste the brass.
It's true that life is pricey
Well, a good one is for sure,
But if that is what is needed
Then why not pay a little more?
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