20 April 2009

It's a Bust for the B-List

I'm always intrigued by the extents people will go for their career, and even more intrigued by what people will do to resurrect their seemingly extinguished career. Recently, I was relieved to hear that one of the princesses of children's entertainment, Kellie Crawford, had decided that the show must go on after her career with the group "Hi5" and had shed her kit for a raunchy photo-shoot with lads mag "Ralph". Yes, dear reader, I dialled up the pictures on the internet to see what the fuss was all about. (no really, research and reference only)

Some of Kellie's comments for the "article" that accompanies the photo's were rather interesting:

"I felt people weren’t seeing me as a woman" - Phew, that fixes that problem.

"But this is actually a personal thing. It’s really for myself." - and we all make sure when we do something personal that the pictures and details are widely distributed through the newsstands, don't we dear reader?

"...I just forgot I was a woman..." - Breasts and a vagina not enough of a hint eh? Maybe they're easily overlooked as I don't have said bodyparts.

Being of the male species, I can't say that the pictures were unattractive. Like most blokes, the primitive cave man in me still stirs when I come across pictures of a scantily clad, sexy female who has a look on her face that suggests she wishes to conduct horizontal folk dancing lessons. But, before the blood drains completely from my brain, I read the article (or what was available on the website) and the illusion was shattered.

A picture may say a thousand words, but the written article's of these photo-shoots always seem to say something else entirely.

Today's shout out ofcourse goes to Kellie Crawford. It's a brave move to jump back into the circus of B-list celebrity but if you keep at it I'm sure you could be hawking skincare products on breakfast television before long. Or doing one of those bloody awful home renovation shows.

Today's shout down goes to the "Family Groups" criticizing Kellie's actions. You really don't understand how all this works do you? The best thing you can do to attract attention to the photo's is publicly condemn Kellie. By doing this you create a curiosity around the issue and MORE people will check it out. You are providing "Ralph" magazine with free publicity for something you oppose. That is negligence on your part. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"Come hither, Mr. Cameraman", by Dan the VespaMan.

With every flash of the bulb
The illusion is born,
With every silly comment
Another man gets the horn.

It sells magazines
and saves her career,
Because the greatest fear she has
Is that she will disappear.

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