A Happy Glutton

I think that personal vices get a lot of unjust bad press these days. Whether you like sculling a brew, lighting up a durry, scoffing a burger with the lot (beetroot yes, yes, YES!) or tripping out on something a little more obscure, I say to blazes with the nanny-no no's and giddy up on the good times.

The true meaning of life is an elusive query, one which has never been adequately cleared up. But there is one thing that I believe is a NECESSITY to lead a rich and complete life.... pleasure! Oh yes, the enjoyment of the tipple of your choice creating that wonderful warm sensation in your belly, the cigarette smoke that tastes smooth and refined immediately after a meal, the reckless devil may care of "junk" food that reminds us every time of just how good salt, sugar and fat tastes. The illicit substances that amazingly remove the boredom's, confusions, and concerns that plague the human condition albeit temporarily. This is living by choice, true independance of the individual to make their own decisions contrary to the myriad of doomsayers who mistakenly believe they have a right to convince us that these vices are hollow, destructive, and without meaning.

Why are these do-gooding, annoying people appearing on my television screen and in my newspapers? Why should they care what I do with my body and mind? If they believe these substances are so vile, then as long as they don't consume them they are doing their duty to themselves. I commend the efforts of organisations and people who make verifiable information concerning these substances freely available, but detest those that feel they must save everyone from themselves.

Myself, I don't smoke because on the three occasions I've been offered a ciggie I didn't enjoy it. Actually, I love the smell of unsmoked cigerettes (not sure if that is unusual or not). I drink very moderately, but will have a binge YES BINGE FOR THE STATS on occasion and enjoy it. The harder stuff is also a no for the same reason as the smokes. This leaves me only with unhealthy food, and there goes the neighbourhood. I love tasty food, and couldn't imagine life without it. Do you ever notice how good roasts are when it is cold and raining outside? Why are roasted potatoes so good? How on earth does eating a steak when cooked to a perfect medium (red inside but no running blood) become almost like a religious experience with each mouthful. How can stuffing one's face with slices of heaven be anything other than good for the soul?

Be gone, the preachers of the anti-enjoyment movement. Take your messages of dread, roll them up into a massive doobie and bong on, grab a bite, and have a brew. Cheers!

Todays shout out goes to "binge" drinkers. If you want to do it, do it and enjoy. Hey it's your liver.

Todays shout down goes to the alcopops tax. Gee it made all the difference, didn't it ? No better example of a government policy of "being seen to be doing something" rather than actually "doing something" currently exists.

"A Side Order of Pleasure", by Dan the VespaMan.

On the road to self destruction
We are told we must alter course,
A bland diet, no smokes, no booze
And no bloody fun ofcourse.

Yes the stuff will probably kill me
Cholesterol in the arteries has no place,
But make my serve a large one
To the end with a smile on my face.