Enviro bag over a shoulder
I stroll down a prince of a highway
seeking a delicious dinner
for a price I'm willing to pay
The walk will do me good
I tell myself
A junkie for a flat stomach
That I don't even think I want
The air suddenly turns frigid and unbreathable
As I walk through the automatic doors
Dreams of luxury are offered
If only I'd swipe my card
Deep fried furniture
Leather lined limes
Shaving shoes
Everything a man doesn't need
I buy bread
To protest the blatant discrimination
Against the innocent carbohydrate
And because I like the taste
A small bag of crisps
my guilty pleasure
I am a savoury slut
Insatiably so
The man needs meat though
Beef, stripped for stir fry
Frozen veges ready to go
And a sauce of suitable sustanence
I pay and attempt to leave
But the luxury on offer
keeps trying to grab me
And haul me back
Pink iced hot dogs
Personalised corkscrews
Mobile phones that double as stun guns
Enough!
Exit through the automatic doors
The air turns from frigid to balmy
And I can breathe again
Back in the real world.
No tofu for you?
ReplyDeleteMy local Thai takeaway sneaks some tofu in regularly. I find it too delicious to protest in these instances.
ReplyDeleteBut when I'm cooking, there is no place for tofu.
Mmmm, deep-fried furniture. The sterile airlessness of the local supramarket (or submarket) is palpably clammy and claustro.
ReplyDeleteIndeed Mitzi... trapped in aisles waiting to pay, being visually assaulted by chocolate and trashy magazines. I don't fear hell, I've already been there for some loo paper.
ReplyDeleteHell is those people who sing. Or the guy who was a) way too close to me when I was looking at chicken, b) muttering about dates (as in when does this chicken need to be used by) and who knows what. I couldn't get away fast enough.
ReplyDeleteUnnerving Shelley, invasion of personal space is simply not on. No invitation, no entry.
ReplyDeleteWhere on earth are you doing your shopping? Not Coles.....
ReplyDeleteIf you meant me, nursie, it was Woolies at Marrickville Metro. Want a nice suit with personal space issues? I know when he shops...
ReplyDelete